get over it

So everyday I become more and more bitter about how awful my high school experience was. everybody says that those 4 years are supposed to be the best 4 years of your life. well, lets say up until my sophomore year i had a good time. my sophomore year i dated a senior at the beginning of the year and i broke up with him because he was gonna go to college in Arizona well, he didn't go to college in Arizona... he started dating one of my friends but his friend got her pregnant. karma is a bitch. anyways. towards the end of the year sorta i met a guy a year older and not gonna lie he was perfect but a stupid injury really took over my life and i broke up with him. probably one of the stupidest things i could ever do. but then my junior year i dated this guy that seriously tried getting with since we were freshmen... ha. so i dated him and he literally ruined my life. he is the reason why to this day i wake up hating everything about me. now he is seriously one of the biggest man whore i do know. he is short and gross. seriously, but honestly i still care for him because of all the bullshit he put me threw we still got went through it together. i wish alot of things didnt end the way they did but shit happens and its time to start getting over it...

sooner rather than later i hope.

You never know how unhappy you are until you are alone. left to think about every little thing that you've done. i sit here upset because i have so much good things infront of me but i choose to push them away. i have both my parents. my dad has been in my life since day one. im so thankful for him. i dont have to go to bed at night wondering who my father is because of him i have a bed to sleep on and a roof over my head. he also pays for my school and doesnt complain about it. i never show him or tell him that much but i love him to death. he is seriously the best father anybody could ever ask for. My mom and i have are splats here and there but seriously, i need her. im sitting her upset because how hateful i am towards her. it upsets me that i can be so ugly to somebody i love. im thankful that i have her. i have so many of her traits its crazy. i wouldnt want to be or look like anybody else. who cares if my nose isnt straight, its like my moms so its perfect. isaiah, is my world. i fight with him constantly and it breaks my heart. he used to be my best friend..he still is. i might now show it but i love him more than anything in this world, instead of hating him i should bee enjoying him and loving him. (i shouldnt be typing this while im at work, because im seconds away from balling) but really. isaiah has a huge heart but sometimes he pretends to not have one and thats what makes me so angry. i pray for him, i hope he because something good makes a good life out of him self. he has so much potential. you know how they say there isnt such thing as a perfect child/ person? well... there is. my sister nicole. she is seriously one of the beautiful-est girls ever, she is smart, with a degree (going for her masters) married, and pregnant. honestly, God couldnt of given me a better role model. i love her so much too. i love when she acts goofy because that is rare of her but she is hilarious. i cannot wait till she has my niece. my sister is gonna be such a good mom. mark, her husband is perfect like her. i dont consider him my "brother n law" because he is literally like my brother, hes is awesome. i think hes probably one of the smartest dudes you'll ever meet. i thank god for sending him to my sister. next, is opie i think im alot closer to him than i am my other siblings.. (im not that close to him) if you can tell im not close to my siblings but i do havea good relationship with them. opie is one of the hardest workers i know. (he gets it from my dad) he is such a good dad and a great boyfriend. i love opie, and i want him to achive everything because he deserves it. his daughter is my rock. i can honestly go on and on about her. she is so perfect..jessica is opies girlfriend and i feel that she is half the reason opie is the way he is, i love her. i usually didnt like opiees girlfriends but i never had or will have problem with her. as i get to the end of this blog i am happy, and greatful. God gave me some of the best people i could ever ask for.